Written By Sahithi Divi
Kanyadaan is giving away the bride as a symbolic marriage ritual . Father of the Bride take’s his daughters hand and places it in the Groom’s hand, requesting for him to accept his daughter to be an equal partner.When I google the word ‘Kanya ‘ , it confuses me what a modest, fresh and virgin daugther means. This is performed in order to transfer the responsibility of daughter into the hands of the groom and his family. In my opinion giving away your daughter in donation to wash your sins after bringing her up with such compassion does not fit well with my beliefs. Along with the changing times we forgot to update the rituals to what applies today and why ? The big change is hard to imagine but what about you who is reading this ?
While we are talking about serious social issues leading to gender inequality and the changes we cannot bring on the larger scale, what about advocating for your own equality to stand as a strong example for others to begin their life not as a donated object but a person who underwent a celebration of their union called marriage.
By practising Kanyadaan, the positioning of woman in the family is naturally a draft of bound customs. A lot speaks about the things that we do not question about. There must be some beginning , a collective voice and a powerful repulsion about how we demonstrate rights,in public in form of customs. Due to the potrayal of idiolic rituals gender bias get priorly infused on public platforms and hence, such unopposed beliefs become common norms.
“Unopposed beliefs become common norms”.
Kanyadaanam is a personal expirience which one goes through and it is your own descision to question it or to convert that to a meaningful context that hooks to your view of life. While this ritual occurs at the start of wedding journey , it lays foundation to behavioral hierarchy and common expectation for millions of uniquely different girls. Inferiority need not be economic status , it can also be highly comparable to how she is treated or how her decision making naturally becomes someone else’s right or responsibility overnight.
Everything begins with you. Let us know your thoughts about this custom and why we must bring an end to it as it gives a very inequal picture to the whole world from where the life of a girl begins after marriage.
I raise my voice against donating daughters publicly in a wedding celebration.
Written By Sahithi Divi