Where does the challenge begin for women ? Why is their identity at stake ?
Women in especially developing countries and in this case India, seem to battle with identity crisis due to the lack of equal resources and cultural speedbreakers controlling her capacity to achieve or dream. Identity crisis begins with the most generic habit of giving her feminine and household rolemodels only as an option, to pick from categories to explore.
At the same time we color the girl’s life with so many identification pointers reminding her the limitations of her being a girl. Her abilities are limitless but how much can she unfold is often not for her to decide. How can a person be confused about uncertain expectations of others ?
Fulfillment of purpose and happiness inside the soul can exist when all the factors in your life are decided by you yourself. Gender roles are tearing up almost every women to defend herself against the feminine responsibilities written off by everyone else for the women in most of the cases to forgo her real identity to fulfill the voids of a shared promise all by herself.
A women has no choice but to contribute hertime and preferences to soo many people trying to create a strong influence for her well being. Every person has a vast layout of their life, a women’s layout is created by a team of family members and influencial society examples. All she can do is decorate the provided layout with her choice of theme.
This kind of a situation occurs because she is not designed to think like a bread winner instead she is told to be a meal maker and at the same time homemaking is considered compulsion not luxury.
Identity is more than a person’s right where as we are creating layers of identities with divided classes of norms and expectations.
Focusing on one’s own prosperity is much more eventful than thinking actively for an other adult especially influencing them to such an extent that gender actually becomes a considerable point of accepting inequality .
I strongly believe that gender equality is born and begins at home…….
Gender Equality closely opens down to how your home and surroundings have shaped you. But now it is about how you shape it for the future generations to beleive what gender equality is ? Gender Equality is not about teaching new ways yet more about unlearning unconscious habits about showcasing inequality in any form backed by gender as the reason.
Home is the place which lands as the horizon for anyody to form a crazy imagination about their life. How many can uphold living multiple lives ? Gender equality will be true if each home has an advocate to remind irreversible benefits of bringing a mindshift of equality independent of gender as we will be able to enjoy the combined affect of identically allocated, consciously taken roles.
No matter whether you are living with a partner , you still run a home for your basic survival. Suddenly one day you get married and you forget to fulfill your own life skills . Some life skills are literally grounded as rules to be fulfilled naturally by women in most of the developing and under developed economies.
Education and awareness can definitely benefit us in some way and why not that begin with working on converting each of our homes into experiment centres to find out the ways to pluck out the gender inequality that shelters within us. Inequal exposure to resources, domestic voilence , patriarchy are the very few embedded characteristics that we can restructure into something useful. Homes have the ability to create unstoppable leaders but homes can also hide away the most mesmorising performances from coming to life. Every home can navigate it’s people towards who they want to be rather than who they must be.
We must stop asking a person what was your dream ? and start asking what is your dream ? Let your home nuture the dreams of all equally. Gender is after all a construct.
Kanyadaan is giving away the bride as a symbolic marriage ritual . Father of the Bride take’s his daughters hand and places it in the Groom’s hand, requesting for him to accept his daughter to be an equal partner.When I google the word ‘Kanya ‘ , it confuses me what a modest, fresh and virgin daugther means. This is performed in order to transfer the responsibility of daughter into the hands of the groom and his family. In my opinion giving away your daughter in donation to wash your sins after bringing her up with such compassion does not fit well with my beliefs. Along with the changing times we forgot to update the rituals to what applies today and why ? The big change is hard to imagine but what about you who is reading this ?
While we are talking about serious social issues leading to gender inequality and the changes we cannot bring on the larger scale, what about advocating for your own equality to stand as a strong example for others to begin their life not as a donated object but a person who underwent a celebration of their union called marriage.
By practising Kanyadaan, the positioning of woman in the family is naturally a draft of bound customs. A lot speaks about the things that we do not question about. There must be some beginning , a collective voice and a powerful repulsion about how we demonstrate rights,in public in form of customs. Due to the potrayal of idiolic rituals gender bias get priorly infused on public platforms and hence, such unopposed beliefs become common norms.
“Unopposed beliefs become common norms”.
Kanyadaanam is a personal expirience which one goes through and it is your own descision to question it or to convert that to a meaningful context that hooks to your view of life. While this ritual occurs at the start of wedding journey , it lays foundation to behavioral hierarchy and common expectation for millions of uniquely different girls. Inferiority need not be economic status , it can also be highly comparable to how she is treated or how her decision making naturally becomes someone else’s right or responsibility overnight.
Everything begins with you. Let us know your thoughts about this custom and why we must bring an end to it as it gives a very inequal picture to the whole world from where the life of a girl begins after marriage.
I raise my voice against donating daughters publicly in a wedding celebration.