Written By Sahithi Divi as told by Dhaassyam Geetha Bhascker
Mother, Actor, Teacher, Author, Social Worker, Life Skills Coach
Walking into tranquil silence of beauty, hustling through the ultimately dreamful ambience , I was bewildered at the warmth spread across every corner of her home. Cutting through social compassion, she proudly turns back at her childhood for brewing her life time learnings and package them to restore for today’s generation.
Born in an orthodox family to diverse parents, she wished for a voice inside her that could take stance for her. She sought after a chance to platform her inner voice. ” Every child must have the luxury to”, she says. A child is moulded by the stages of his life and influence of dutiful values. Facing criticism due to the social pressure of being a girl in the first place, she also enjoyed constant disappearance of individualism as a child. She translated ugly, good and uncertain words into a life of substance and provided an inclusive land of dreams for her family as a woman. Hailing from a patriarchal society which polices the physical characteristics of a person , she even walked pass the times when she resisted love from finding its real place as a kid for long. This led to a close partnership with her mom who was also her best friend. Geetha garu laughs, ” although my dad needs me for every little thing today”.
“Motherhood is like an art and art can be pushed not tamed”, while mentioning her son as her most priceless ornament……!
Geetha garu is currently working as a visual arts teacher and acted in films like Fida and Ee Nagaraniki Emaindi. Began her career in the advertisement field, she rises above the decisions made for her. Eight years of lag in the technology industry outdated her relevance to continue where she left in her career. Time for self reflection occurred to her as a young mother whose soul was on fire to find her place again and again from what ever was thrown at her. This internally changed her role as parent towards a brilliant horizon. She converted bundles of conspiring opportunities into a new start as an art teacher. ” Every mother can use motherhood as qualification to find her place in times of disruptive paradigm”. she strongly expressed adding that ” every child is born for the society “. She has authored a book called ‘Destiny’s Child’ on her parenting chapters.
Emotional temperament is a pavilion of lock outs. Precisely respect your heart’s desire because the habit of self love is underrated as it can tell you when to leave a place where you don’t belong to. The world ultimately loves the person who loves oneself.
She amplifies the need for every individual independent of gender to participate in creating a Home that promotes friendship, innovation and teamwork in order to celebrate and grow with each other. Being a woman is challenging she says explaining me how she faced the most draining situations in her life due to the stigma attached to a woman who lost her husband. Habit is the most hardest thing to let go which can create a major influence on one’s life. She truly believes in the power of women supporting each other for a sustainably progressive world. Willing to collaborate for contributing her services in areas of ‘ Widow Empowerment ‘ that is surrounded by rottening stigma which suppresses the potential of a woman due to the absence of her other half. Every woman who has to go through the experience of loosing her life partner needs the whole society to emotionally insure her instead of producing new doubts at her capacity to make an impact.
When asked about defining Gender she said it does not exist, Democracy as your right, Mother as a creator and Time as patience. Leaving me to nurture in her wonderful conversation, she brought light and broke stereotypes. Her work aligns with Sustainable Development Goal 4 of Quality Education. Impact Scientist is looking forward to associating with her in maximising the impact for women.
Where does the challenge begin for women ? Why is their identity at stake ?
Women in especially developing countries and in this case India, seem to battle with identity crisis due to the lack of equal resources and cultural speedbreakers controlling her capacity to achieve or dream. Identity crisis begins with the most generic habit of giving her feminine and household rolemodels only as an option, to pick from categories to explore.
At the same time we color the girl’s life with so many identification pointers reminding her the limitations of her being a girl. Her abilities are limitless but how much can she unfold is often not for her to decide. How can a person be confused about uncertain expectations of others ?
Fulfillment of purpose and happiness inside the soul can exist when all the factors in your life are decided by you yourself. Gender roles are tearing up almost every women to defend herself against the feminine responsibilities written off by everyone else for the women in most of the cases to forgo her real identity to fulfill the voids of a shared promise all by herself.
A women has no choice but to contribute hertime and preferences to soo many people trying to create a strong influence for her well being. Every person has a vast layout of their life, a women’s layout is created by a team of family members and influencial society examples. All she can do is decorate the provided layout with her choice of theme.
This kind of a situation occurs because she is not designed to think like a bread winner instead she is told to be a meal maker and at the same time homemaking is considered compulsion not luxury.
Identity is more than a person’s right where as we are creating layers of identities with divided classes of norms and expectations.
Focusing on one’s own prosperity is much more eventful than thinking actively for an other adult especially influencing them to such an extent that gender actually becomes a considerable point of accepting inequality .
I strongly believe that gender equality is born and begins at home…….
Gender Equality closely opens down to how your home and surroundings have shaped you. But now it is about how you shape it for the future generations to beleive what gender equality is ? Gender Equality is not about teaching new ways yet more about unlearning unconscious habits about showcasing inequality in any form backed by gender as the reason.
Home is the place which lands as the horizon for anyody to form a crazy imagination about their life. How many can uphold living multiple lives ? Gender equality will be true if each home has an advocate to remind irreversible benefits of bringing a mindshift of equality independent of gender as we will be able to enjoy the combined affect of identically allocated, consciously taken roles.
No matter whether you are living with a partner , you still run a home for your basic survival. Suddenly one day you get married and you forget to fulfill your own life skills . Some life skills are literally grounded as rules to be fulfilled naturally by women in most of the developing and under developed economies.
Education and awareness can definitely benefit us in some way and why not that begin with working on converting each of our homes into experiment centres to find out the ways to pluck out the gender inequality that shelters within us. Inequal exposure to resources, domestic voilence , patriarchy are the very few embedded characteristics that we can restructure into something useful. Homes have the ability to create unstoppable leaders but homes can also hide away the most mesmorising performances from coming to life. Every home can navigate it’s people towards who they want to be rather than who they must be.
We must stop asking a person what was your dream ? and start asking what is your dream ? Let your home nuture the dreams of all equally. Gender is after all a construct.
Kanyadaan is giving away the bride as a symbolic marriage ritual . Father of the Bride take’s his daughters hand and places it in the Groom’s hand, requesting for him to accept his daughter to be an equal partner.When I google the word ‘Kanya ‘ , it confuses me what a modest, fresh and virgin daugther means. This is performed in order to transfer the responsibility of daughter into the hands of the groom and his family. In my opinion giving away your daughter in donation to wash your sins after bringing her up with such compassion does not fit well with my beliefs. Along with the changing times we forgot to update the rituals to what applies today and why ? The big change is hard to imagine but what about you who is reading this ?
While we are talking about serious social issues leading to gender inequality and the changes we cannot bring on the larger scale, what about advocating for your own equality to stand as a strong example for others to begin their life not as a donated object but a person who underwent a celebration of their union called marriage.
By practising Kanyadaan, the positioning of woman in the family is naturally a draft of bound customs. A lot speaks about the things that we do not question about. There must be some beginning , a collective voice and a powerful repulsion about how we demonstrate rights,in public in form of customs. Due to the potrayal of idiolic rituals gender bias get priorly infused on public platforms and hence, such unopposed beliefs become common norms.
“Unopposed beliefs become common norms”.
Kanyadaanam is a personal expirience which one goes through and it is your own descision to question it or to convert that to a meaningful context that hooks to your view of life. While this ritual occurs at the start of wedding journey , it lays foundation to behavioral hierarchy and common expectation for millions of uniquely different girls. Inferiority need not be economic status , it can also be highly comparable to how she is treated or how her decision making naturally becomes someone else’s right or responsibility overnight.
Everything begins with you. Let us know your thoughts about this custom and why we must bring an end to it as it gives a very inequal picture to the whole world from where the life of a girl begins after marriage.
I raise my voice against donating daughters publicly in a wedding celebration.
Financial management is a life skill. For most of the women, their spending is determined by the male counterparts or at least influenced on their spending behaviours. Absence of financial responsibility at young age leads to unsure horizons while taking major life decisions in personal or professional life.
How far is a young girl considered equal to her male counterpart in terms of building financial management as a foundational skill ?
What could be the reasons ?
Family and society looks at her as a future care provider. Women are given boundaries to imagine their spending.
80% of the consumer spending decisions are made by women still her spending dominantly inclines towards common benefits not personal benefits.
Identity crisis is induced on unpredictable levels, about social etiquette and appearance classification which destroys the equality factor in childhood.
Reason for lesser women entrepreneurs is the lack of financial freedom of collateral, loans accessibility, capital investment in addition to the emotional responsibility of family members.
Migration for work is primarily lead by the male member, this factor begins affecting while making attempts to establish strong career for a women.
Dependability of spending details are entrusted on men compared to women who are naturally answerable to their spending as a luxury. Won’t this articulating confusion grow up into a less confident women who needs to rework on self empowerment?
Due to factors like no compulsive paternal leave, children are more emotionally attached with the mother. This leads to her taking first impact of the child behaviour and needs ; leading to changes, that take place in interest to more than just herself.
Financial freedom can be achieved by women but when it is unable to function for her individual goals, that’s when we must realise somewhere that less women in leadership roles is a long term affect of how we see motherhood at homes.
Society unknowingly distributes gender roles while growing up. I am sure each one of you reading this will reflect over the gender roles imposed on you objectively. Let us know what you feel ….
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lET US USE OUR NETWORK AFFECT FOR CREATING A GENDER EQUAL SOCIETY
Why is India on the 132 nd position out of 187 countries on gender inequality index? Women showed manifesting participation in every field, still what makes Gender Equality a prime goal for an inclusive development of the world. If half our country’s population is women then imagine what would happen if half of us are unable to unleash our fundamental potential and are held back ? Gender is an unimportant economic plague without it’s equality.
The International Monetary Fund finds that India’s GDP will increase by 27 percent if women equally played a role in economy . There are some serious issues dangerously affecting the developing economies and gender is the major cause for some of these following irreversible changes enforced by gender bias on women.
BIRTH — Female foeticide is irreversible. It results in the decline of sex ratio of the country, causing societal imbalance. Social discrimination begins with sex determination.
PRIMARY EDUCATION: Government provides free education to all, making education a fundamental right for children. But early school drop outs are dominantly gender bias inflicted victims. If any difficulty arises in the family, education will sail apart from HER in the first place.
EMPLOYMENT: Employement is a social luxury for majority of women in India. This phase of life needs courage, whereas working women can be easily objectivised by stereotypical gender policing. Literacy rate of Indian women is 67% but the turn out at work place of women is inconsiderably low, hampering the GDP drastically.
WORK ENVIRONMENT: Does not get any easier here !! Safe working atmosphere, commuting challenges against the time of the day, women centric generalised expectations and traditional beliefs contrasting the work efficiency or performance remain the first hand hassles for many ( infact most ) working Indian women.
MARRIAGE: Society/ Family play the dominant role in marriage choices, than the person actually getting married. Changing that person’s life in a day for the rest of their life. Marriage is created into generational upliftment of families and not individuals. How will more and more women be able to contribute to the country if they are held back in imaginary beliefs and regulations ?
MOTHERHOOD : Sadly, even motherhood does not come as a personal choice to many women while ignoring the health and financial implications induced onto them. Domestic voilence, gender dominance, rape and many other reasons can cause motherhood, which can never be taken back or changed from that women.
UNPAID LIFESKILL: Under-utilised and unpaid skill delivered by women in domestic roles is highly under valued. Revisit the unmeasured power of homemakers and direct them for delivering a skill that can trigger the country’s outbound potential. Our homes are carrying the most value watsed power.
Gender Equality is an emergency not an emerging need. Everyday that we don’t take action, millions of women are facing the cruel effects of gender inequality.