Written by Sahithi Divi
Moving places is not just about exploring a new world but also letting go of what I establish along the way in order to create more. My story is a museum of people’s stories. These conversations open new dimensions of acceptance, new directions to grow, more scope to dig deeper and hunger for doing something that I partly found my way through and still finding the unknown. Who am I when I am alone became soo crucial in this process of creating impact. I started to feel that burning myself down satisfy’s my soul by quenching it’s deepest desire do something.
There was a force within me about to explode. Sometimes I laughed, sometimes I cried, sometimes I became the source of power and other times I felt worthless. Churning in fragile emotions, I stumbled before holding myself upright with both fear and courage. Settling in with a racing heart for negotiating necessity with possibility. I realised that life is about the memories of existence from choices we make. Holding detachment on the face my heart ignited a burning desire for self exploration in me.
Looking into myself for finding happiness in life. There is a long silence in my mind alongside chirping birds , heavy rainfall and a strong breeze hitting my face. The only elements who accompanied me to think about taking the journey of listening to my heart. I did not understand for many days whether it is my state of mind or reality. The desicion to choose oneself and keep moving in direction of heart’s calling comes with a burden of making tuff calls.
As a child I was scared to be angry about the things I disagreed at and that makes me question myself at places I need to put myself first. There is a world outside of me and then there is a world inside of me. Every time I move from one place to another there is a rush of opinions from different people in my life. I spend my time convincing everybody who contributed towards my growth and start fighting with the same people for my freedom.
After lot of over thinking and emotional over ride , I wake up to a new day full of hopes. Other times I fall asleep laughing but wake up to a nightmare and a racing heart. Then I meet different people processing their own lives to bring contentment through unique sources to heal. Life is an art of managing uncertainty and letting yourself experience what is meant for you. Memories often dodge me to question my decisions. My dream is entwined to my own choices. There is always going to be be a way if I believe so.